"Isn't that the question of the day..."
Even I would like to know. I mean really....
"Nah...after what happened...you can't do it."
..How do I even continue something for a story and an idea that was shot down and burned? How do I continue where I had this idea to have some of my favorite characters that I looked up to be a part of a story that I wanted to create from others and gave myself some hope to create my own story to be something I should have joined a while back but never had that courage to step in and try until it was past too late?
How do I continue on waiting for a reply that never came and sending a reason that was somehow also ignored as well? Where I had this idea that came out of my head and I took a leap of faith, hits me with courage to get it done, and it just can't seem to have others communicate with a small conversation. Well I can think of a few things, but I guess I'm not that great with communicating. I don't know. I know that I'm not great with speaking out about big stuff, but at least I tried....
"Maybe you're not good enough. Or maybe you're not skilled to be on their level where they are. Maybe you're not trying enough. They have a group made, and maybe they don't want anyone to interfere with their progress. How would I know? Maybe they want to do things in their way, and just thought you were a flake. Maybe some people wanted to just wanted you to go away and not reply to you. Maybe.
"What is it?"
...That's not true.
I was waiting for a reply from two of the users from their created teams. I was hoping to ask them all at once, but I wanted to try to see if I could go with one at a time. I was hoping they would reply. I waited. And waited. And after a few messages, one of them stopped replying to me. But..I've seen what they can do. They are amazing artists with a awesome talent. They have lives, and they have their own emotional stuff and personal stuff going on. I respect that. Everyone has a reason. I know I can't beat myself up or get down on that.
"Oh but you're not upset about it? That they didn't even reply back!?"
..No. Not even the slightest.
*end of a conversation* *continuing an explanation however...*
..I waited for a while. Maybe it's my fault that I didn't speak out faster or maybe they didn't want to join. I don't even know if they even read my messages. (Btw if you guys are reading this *the ones who I asked* I mean no hard feelings) maybe they looked and thought it couldn't be possible. Or maybe it was a joke. It did bring me down emotionally however, so this is why I haven't made a new chapter for a while. I was left in a rut.
So what have I done since after waiting and NOT getting a reply from the past few months?
I've been working on my story silently. SLOWLY.
I just want to create my story, and continue. I want to practice more and draw. I want to try to turn it into a comic. It's no easy task. But with learning on my own, I hope that I can deliver that. I look at other amazing artists here and I get inspired to continue my story. It's not just a story. It's something I want to create and give myself a pat on the back that I *myself* have done. Am I still borrowing a few characters for my next chapter?
..yeah...but I hope to edge them out with respect of that creaters own Pokémon team. Unless they don't want me to. They'll have to message me on that. They gave me a yes for their team, so I'm not sure but it's up to them if they want to.
"Choices...people have made them." But that's the choice they made not to reply. And you know what? That's ok. They made a choice. I understand. (Or they didn't even see my message in the first place and it was not a big deal after all)
Do these artists I asked still inspire me? Yeah they do. They're amazing artists with a talent. I always will cheer for them.
...I don't really know. I don't know why I'm so attached to this...I mean it's been months. So I went and asked a few people I know and they gave me inspiration to just not to give up.
"From what you said with what you want to do with your story....you spent like literally half an hour going on and on with what you wanna do! This story is great! I think it's great that you wanna try and continue on! I'm surprised you haven't talked to anyone about this other than what you wanted to do."
"If they don't wanna join, then change out what you had planned with them with your own characters and give them something with meaning. You got this buddy."
"Just do it. I believe in you. If I could, I would but I don't know where to start. Only you can do this. I can't wait until you finish it! I WANNA READ YOUR SECOND CHAPTER ALREADY STOP DELAYING!! "
"You're making a big deal about this, but you seem passionate with what you wanna do. So what if they didn't reply? You can do this on your own! I know you can!"
I'll do my best to create Chapter 2 with what I want to do. So after I make this journal, I want to keep going. I have a great storyline made, but I'm still working on a few scene for chapter 2 to have it make sense with what I'm doing to click to the other chapters.
Also, I hope to draw more. I would like to get more into that.
But I want to thank to anyone who was interested in my story. I've noticed my views rising on here during the past year. You guys are awesome! Seeing these numbers from my first chapter and my main page views rise brought me back to get going. I just wanted to say THANK YOU.